Side Effects of Reading This Blog

We’ve all seen them. TV commercials for prescription drugs that last about 90 seconds, with 75 seconds of the commercial devoted to describing the potential side effects.

Here’s a clip of a Jeff Foxworthy routine where he captures the over-the-top nature of these commercials.

But as I was watching one of these commercials on TV today, I thought why should such warnings be limited to prescription drugs. Perhaps all products and services should come with such warnings regarding potential side effects.

And then I thought I need to practice what I preach, so I’ve come up with a list of potential side effects associated with reading my blog on a daily basis:

  • depressing thoughts such as “I’ll never get those five minutes back” or “my time would have been better spent trying to stick a six-inch replica of the Empire State Building up my nose”
  • a desire to throw your computer, iPad, or smartphone across the room so that you never have to read another Borden’s Blog post again
  • rage-filled outbursts cursing your kindergarten teacher for having taught you how to read
  • a desire to file an injunction to prevent me from ever blogging again
  • falling asleep in the middle of reading Borden’s Blog
  • a desire to do physical harm to people such as Tim Berners-Lee and Mark Zuckerberg for having made the Internet so user friendly, thus making it too easy for people to share  their thoughts and opinions
  • a potential 10-point drop in your IQ after having read Borden’s Blog, much like the feeling this guy had after listening to Billy Madison give an answer

So there you have it; you’ve been properly warned.

I hope this will serve as the motivation for other goods and services to do the same.

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Jim Borden

Accounting Prof. at Villanova; happily married for 30+ years; father of 3 outstanding young men; vegan; interests: fitness, creativity, education, blogging, social media.

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